Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You know, be my cock's hype man.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
