Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
