have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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