don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
