O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
