just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
