Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
