never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
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