hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
