it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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