S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
You are the jesus of drinking
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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