Soap is not a condiment
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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