ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
