this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize