i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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