This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You pole danced in your parka.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
