sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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