So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
