i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
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You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
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I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I would fuck him just for his dog
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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