Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
