just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize