a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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