I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
