New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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