So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
