Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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