The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
