I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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