I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
