Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
