I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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