I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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