I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
