he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
