Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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