Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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