I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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