Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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