Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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