Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He shit in the fireplace
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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