She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
