You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
