WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
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there were more penises there than on chat roulette
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
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i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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