he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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