I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
