literally had 100 drinks last night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
