Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
