I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
