Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
