Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I don't deserve a penis
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
