But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
