Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
