Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
