He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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