it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
