Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
