Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
