Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
