One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
