You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
