We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We don't watch enough power rangers
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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