It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
