I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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