In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize