Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
