I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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