Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
