Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
