playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
