Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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