i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
