k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
